The Act of Love in Nicomachean Ethics

Nikki Huett
Dr. Andrew Jacobs
Great Books I
November 2, 2018

                                                  The Act of Love in Nicomachean Ethics

      When a person falls in love, do they truly “fall” for the person or do they “fall in love” with the idea of loving them? In Aristotle’s Nicomachean Ethics, he discusses his view of love. “Yet each, in fact, loves not what is good for him, but what appears so” (1155b 25-26). My perception of what he means here is that most people consider the love they think they deserve, rather than the amount that they do. Whether that love originates from friendships or romantic relationships. People obsess over this idea of being loved and as they grow older, they begin to make more mature relationships, but with this maturity also comes ignorance. The type of people who obsess over love ends up only obsessing over the idea of it.

  Let us first start off with the love that comes from friends. Since the world is an imperfect place, we sometimes happen upon friends who treat us unfairly or, in other cases, we are the ones that treat them unfairly. There are two types of friendships, one where both friends reciprocate the love and second, where it is one-sided and the other is deriving pleasure from the fact that someone is fond of them. Aristotle even points this out by saying, “Therefore, those who love on account of utility feel affection for the sake of their own good, just as those who love on account of pleasure feel affection for the sake of their own pleasure”( 1156a 14-17). Thus, in that case, where one derives pleasure, this friendship is toxic and will not last as long as one intends. As the person who is a “user” will eventually grow tired of the same friends and move on. Sure, in a normal friendship, pleasure is produced, but where it becomes abnormal is when that is the only reason for the friendship to exist.

 Next, I would like to bring up the romantic type of relationships. Though in both friendships and romantic relationships, love is produced, romantic relationships can become far more dangerous when either the male or female becomes damaging. As in these relationships, the two people become far more intimate with each other. It is not too rare for romantic relationships to begin because one or both of the people in the relationship want to derive the type of pleasure of being physical to satisfy certain wants. Aristotle starts to bring up this for a little bit when he states, “ For the greater part of erotic love is bound up with passion and is based on pleasure, which is why they love and swiftly cease loving, often changing in course of the same day” (1156b 37-39). Most people these days, do not marry out of true affection, but out of the facade that that someone is a human being that has shown them attention. This, though very pessimistic sounding, is the true fact of how ignorant any type of relationship can become.

In conclusion, though it sounds as if I am stating that all love is fake, I am not. I am simply pointing out that some people use their feelings in a manipulating way and that is not how our Lord intended them to be used. People are so enticed with their need for pleasure and/or for the want to know that someone holds high affections for them that they confuse both of these instances for the true meaning of being loved and loving someone. This can become such a nasty habit that one can possess as it makes them not only manipulate others but themselves as well. This self-manipulation can be inferred from Aristotle stating in the text, “Yet this will make no difference at all, since it will be what appears lovable [that each will, in fact, regard as good and so love”(1155b 26-27). So, the way to correctly achieve healthy relationships (romantic or not), we must love each other unconditionally. Though this world is going to continue to be foolish, we must try our best to treat each other with the love we deserve, not the love we think we deserve.




                                                              Works Cited:
             Aristotle. Nicomachean Ethics. Translated by Robert C. Bartlett and Susan D. Collins,
                              University of Chicago Press, Reprint edition, 2012.